


I'll Be Home For Christmas

by starscrearn



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, archive warnings used because it's set after Breakdown dies, guys i'm so sorry, in that order, it starts off okay and then nose-dives, this does not have a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 02:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13090176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starscrearn/pseuds/starscrearn
Summary: The holidays can be rough without the ones you love. Knock Out learns this the hard way.





	I'll Be Home For Christmas

Breakdown loved Earth holidays. The arrival of one always seemed to send the humans into a panic of preparation as they rushed about putting up decorations outside their houses and sometimes stringing up lights that flickered and glittered in the darkness below. The lights were his favorite part. Often he'd slip out with Knock Out, to find a city and just drive and watch the light show. Once they managed to sneak into what the humans called a "botanical garden" for some kind of "garden of lights." Whatever it was called, it was beautiful. 

Knock Out loved the lights too, but for a slightly different reason. He loved to watch their reflections slide over his conjunx, making it look like he was smiling, even in his alt-mode. And he loved how happy they made Breakdown.

The music took a little getting used to, especially the way it would start playing seemingly at random.

_ I'll be home for Christmas... you can plan on me... _

But Knock Out learned to love it, especially when Breakdown came waltzing into the medbay, belting out the words in that slightly off-key, gravelly way of his. It might not have been the best, but it was his favorite. Breakdown scooped him up and away from his work, dancing him with surprising grace around the room, singing all the while.

"Please have snow, and mistletoe--"

Knock Out grinned. "--And presents on the tree!" he sang back, lighter, higher tones melding beautifully with Breakdown's.

"Christmas Eve will find me where the lovelight gleams..."

"Oh, I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams!"

Breakdown ended the dance by dipping Knock Out low over his knee, hand flush against his back plates in support. He pulled him up and directly into a kiss. "That'll be us one day," he promised. "Once the war ends. It'll be nice to see home again."

"It will be," Knock Out agreed, all but curling up against his still-standing conjunx. "But as long as you're here, mm... Earth's not so bad."

It became their song, their promise to each other that no matter what happened, they'd survive. That they'd make it through the war and once the fighting was over, that they'd have a life together, a proper life, not one spent aboard ships and in darkened hallways. Hearing the first few notes of that song planetside was enough to set them both giggling like newframes with a first crush. 

One day Breakdown came back sporting a ridiculous grin. "Knock Out, you're not gonna believe this."

Knock Out took one look at that smile and sighed. "Oh, I bet I am."

He held out a tiny pair of what looked like felted sticks. "Look what I found."

He picked one up, holding it gingerly between thumb and forefinger. "Breakdown, what is this?"

"It's a car antler." Breakdown's grin grew, if possible, even wider. "Human holiday tradition."

"Where did you get it?"

"Auto parts store, with a holoform and the old five-finger discount. I don't think they take credits."

Knock Out shook his head, smiling fondly. "You fiend. Go on, put them on."

Breakdown managed to clip them on in root mode and when he dropped into his alt mode, they fell into perfect alignment. Knock Out laughed.

"Well?" If Breakdown had an eyebrow to raise in his alt-mode, he'd have done it. "How do I look?"

"Stunningly ridiculous. Hold still, I want a picture of this."

He obliged and Knock Out snapped a quick series of photos.

"Aaaand one more." Knock Out smirked. "In your root mode. I want you to see how you look."

Breakdown rose up and struck a pose, propping one hand on his tipped-out hip and throwing the other behind his helm, pushing out his chest plate. It was the smile on his face that really had Knock Out in stitches and the first picture came out so blurry he had to retake it.

Eventually Breakdown was able to straighten himself up and peer over Knock Out's shoulder fins at the photo. 

"I'm getting this framed," Knock Out declared.

"You know what would be really nice?"

"What?"

"If we had a matching photo to go with it."

The response was an immediate "no." But he was smiling.

Breakdown put on his best pleading look, the one that made Knock Out laugh and tell him to knock it off before going along with him. "Not even if it's the only thing on my wish list?"

As predicted, Knock Out immediately relented. "Fine. But only because you asked so nicely."

He grinned and set to work attaching the antlers.

 

\---

 

They both had a copy of those photos stashed in their subspace.

Or at least, Knock Out did. He found them one day while looking for something else. Time slowed to a crawl around him and he shoved the pictures back where they'd come from. It didn't help.

_ Please have snow and mistletoe…  _

It was snowing down below. He'd slipped on the road and gone skidding through an accumulation of the stuff. It had taken him longer than he would have liked to free himself. Breakdown would have laughed.

_ And presents on the tree…  _

They'd never gotten the chance to try out the whole 'mistletoe' thing. It was supposed to be Knock Out's present.

_ Christmas Eve will find me where the lovelight gleams…  _

The berth was cold and empty without Breakdown there and far below the warship Knock Out knew he'd find the glittering lights that Breakdown had loved so much. He hated them, hated their perpetual reminder, hated everything about this accursed season on this accursed planet. And what he hated most was the knowledge that Breakdown would have hated to see him twisted up like this. Knock Out rolled over and sat up, drawing his knees towards his chest plates. Breakdown would have known exactly what to say, what to promise him.

_ Oh, I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams! _

**Author's Note:**

> guys look i'm so sorry. the idea wouldn't leave me alone so i figured i might as well unleash it on the rest of the world.
> 
> i banged this out in about an hour, so if i've made any mistakes, don't be afraid to point them out!


End file.
